10 shades of bitchy

I am soooooooo not in a good mood right now. Let me vent for a sec, ok?

• Went to the doctor for the headache and he prescribed Anaprox. Know what that is? ALEVE. Why not just tell me to buy a bottle of Aleve? But he was really cute at least...
• I went to the pharmacy and they didn't even have the prescription for Anaprox in their system. I bought some Excedrin instead.
• My health insurance through COBRA still hasn't been updated, so I had to pay $1200-something out of pocket to get my meds. GRRR. One prescription was over $600 but I have no choice but to get it because I know what happens if I don't take it, and it's uglyyyyyyy. 
• My house is a fucking disaster zone.
• I haven't packed yet and I always stress about packing.
• The California EDD (unemployment) office won't let me reschedule my phone interview to try and get insurance, so I had to cancel an important appointment I had in the morning. Effers.
• My head hurts.
• I want to cry.
• There's shit caught in my braces and it's bugging me. I can't believe I've only had these things on for 2 weeks. Feels like 2 months.
• Colby scratched my arm, everything smells like pee, I'm too fat to function, and have I mentioned that my head hurts?!

Call me

My dietitian was supposed to call me at 11. By 11:07, she hadn't called, so I sent her an email. At 11:08 the phone rang. I didn't pick up. I'm annoyed. She is never on time! I didn't have the time to invest in the call because I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch @ 11:30. (That ended up not happening because I have this stupid headache, since Tuesday, that doesn't seem to want to go away.) I don't even want to listen to the voicemail she left me.

In other news, I'm off to New Jersey tomorrow for a wedding! A 6 hour flight on United is definitely not something I'm looking forward to, but at least it's not American? I wanted to take Jet Blue but they don't fly directly to Newark. Asshats!

OW MY HEAD!!!!

I tried!

I made an honest attempt to work out today by getting into grubby clothes and stepping on my stupid ass Bowflex Treadclimber. I pressed start and NOTHING. Stupid piece of shit doesn't work. I was trying to sell it, but I couldn't get any takers so I was going to just use it and now I can't. I can't afford to get it fixed now either. I guess I'll have to stick to walking right now. And if that doesn't help, I'm going to consider an effing gym membership. Now I hate gyms. I hate working out. But I feel something must be done. Le sigh. I always feel effing ridiculous and horrible at gyms. I compare myself to everyone (who is always in much better shape than me) and I'm paranoid that everyone is looking at me, judging me. Helloooo social anxiety. Medicines have made a big difference with my social anxiety problems (it used to be really bad), but when I get to the gym I revert back... and then I stop going, and it's just a big waste of money. I can't exactly be wasting money right now. (Even though I uhhhh just bought a bunch of pajamas...)


Wellsies, I think that's all I have for now. Death to Bowflex!!!


Update: Just found out it's still under warranty. Hooray!

500 Nights of PJs

Thangs

Things I'm going to try to do daily (and obviously if I'm writing them here it means I haven't been good about it)...

1. Clean/organize (chores)
2. Exercise (walk and/or use the Treadclimber)
3. Shower (yeah, you heard me!)

Dress shopping is a horrific experience, but I snagged a pretty nice dress yesterday at Macy's. It retailed at $130 but with my Macy's card I got a super discount and only paid $90! I never thought I'd be getting a dress this color but I liked the style. It's Calvin Klein and it should be pretty for an early summer wedding. :)

Addicted to PJs

I got addicted to PJs at the end of last week and went a little...fucking bonkers. Smart choice for someone with no income, right?

Here are my duds from J. Crew:

They're navy with white piping and they're cute, I tell you, despite the unflattering picture where it looks like I might possibly have a fake eye. I don't have a fake eye, I can assure you. But if I did, would you judge me, HUH??

These jammies rule but I highly recommend the brand THE CAT'S PAJAMAS. They are uber super cute -- but they can cost up to $88 a pair, which is effing ridiculous, yet I uhhhh, did partake anyway...

Going to visit a friend in the hospital tomorrow, along with go shopping for a dress for a wedding that's in a week. Soooo, interesting day, right? Both are going to be...challenging. In different ways, but challenging definitely.

I don't want to say I'm the better person...

But if I write you, ex-friend, and say I miss you...and you don't write back -- well, I'm clearly the better person.

Yep, it's a competition, clearly.

Who wins? Me.

Just pictures today

A very sleepy Dakota

The look on Tig's face is great!

Life advice

And I'm going to start doing this by taking a nice walk with my bladder-infected doggy!

The sad sap

Sad saps annoy me. I mean, how much can you bitch, moan, and whine about the same thing without ever doing anything about it? I don't want to be that person! Yet I fear that I am. I'd like to just think that right now, I'm completely stuck. I promise to get out of this funk and do something. Promise! Just like I promise to wear my retainers after Braces Round Three is over.

But today, I just feel pathetic.

Here's a picture of me all smiley to off-set today's depression:

You see, a few years ago, a bunch of people from my ex-company, the Big G, jumped ship to work at FB. Well, with today's IPO, several people I know made a crap ton of money. And here I am, unemployed, unable to get a job at FB despite knowing the COO, no prospects, doctors telling me I can't work right now, and well, I feel just a wee-bit pathetic.


Signing Off,
The Sad Sap

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Peeping Toms

I don't really like all the people that come on here that NEVER comment that come here regularly, say nothing, that I don't know.

The only TRUE solution is to make it private, but not sure I want to do that...

Hmmm, think think think tank.

Jerry!

Crossroads

I really feel like I'm at a big crossroad... in pretty much ALL aspects of my life. And I'm just kind of standing in the middle of it, trying to look at each direction, but it's dusty or something and I can't see anything clearly. So I just stand there, paralyzed. It's a yucky feeling.

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You can officially call me a braceface once again next Tuesday, May 15th! OH THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.


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Pics on Facebook

I've seen too many pictures of food on my fb wall lately. [SCREAM!!!!!]

Obviously I can't post this as a status message so I bring it to the blog. Huzzah.

Please now...

It wasn't the rain that washed away
Rinsed out the colors of your eyes
Putting the gun down on the bedside table
I must have realized

It wasn't the rain that made no difference
And I could have sworn it wasn't me
Yet I did it all so coldly almost slowly
Plain for all to see

Oh c'mon please now talk to me
Tell me things I could find helpful
How can I stop now? Is there nothing I can do?
I have lost my way, I've been losing you

I can still hear our screams competing
You're hissing your s's like a snake
Now in the mirror stands half a man
I thought no one could break

It wasn't the rain that made no difference
Nervously drumming on run away
But I want the guilt to get me
Thoughts to wreck me, preying on my mind

I didn't write it. Thanks A-HA!

I heard that you like the bad girls

Honey, is that true?