I don't know?

Facebook

I'm getting annoyed with Facebook as I go through my Newsfeed. It is is full of:

• Annoying memes (seriously, they have freaking taken over my page!)
• Too much political shit
• Bitching and moaning about health problems
• Baby pictures (sorry, I had to say it)

Perhaps it's time to 'hide' more people. Then I can look at their wall or timelne later, when I'm ready, but it's no longer cluttering my newsfeed. Hmmm, but with the numer of people on this big meme trend, I'd start hiding a lot of people I'm afraid. What to do, what to do!

Comedy ha-ha

Tonight I went to the beautiful Mountain Winery in Saratoga, CA to see Sarah Silverman perform. It was a GREAT show. And I was very pleasantly surprised by her opening act, Kyle Dunnigan (who played Craig Pullen on Reno 911! If you saw the show, you'd remember him as the Truckee River serial killer in love with Trudy Weigel).

Anyway, great time, great company (Heather & Ted). Only complaint: so cold out; I was shaking even in my fleece!

Gymnastics ambivalence

About a week ago, I saw a bus with an ad for the gymnastics Olympic trials. This year, they're in San Jose, which is very close to me.

I've been debating whether or not to go because I love gymnastics and how often do you get the opportunity to see the Olympic trials for a sport you love without having to travel?

I'd get to see stuff like this!

(that's 2008 Olympic gold medalist Nastia Liukin from the USA above at the Olympic trials)

And that's freaking amazing. But I looked up the ticket information and while I'd get to sit in the middle (so I'd have a great view of all the events), I'd be in the balcony, in row 11. And the cost for sitting up in the nose bleed section? $110! So, while really wanting to go, I decided to put my wallet down and not spend it on this. So I will not be going to the Olympic trials. Honestly, it might just be more fulfilling to watch gymnastics on TV in 2 months when the London Games are on.

I can't believe it's been twenty years since my love affair with gymnastics began thanks to the Olympics in Barcelona. Such fond memories. :)

Hmm

I'm so bored I'm thinking of making a blog for my dog.

Music

I <3 listening to music!!!

Light up the world

I wish I could always keep these thoughts in my head. I will try. Thank you Depeche Mode.

{Peace will come to me}

I'm leaving bitterness behind, this time I'm cleaning out my mind

There is no space for the regrets I will remember to forget

I'm leaving anger in the past, with all the shadows that it cast

There is a radar in my heart I should have trusted from the start

{Peace will come to me}

I'M GOING TO LIGHT UP THE WORLD

I am...

• Borderline amazing: made six cards today (3 1/2 yesterday). Pictures from today are only posted on Facebook.
• In pain -- stomach (but not reflux).
• Good at guessing what time it is. Seriously, it should be an Olympic sport and I would be a gold medalist! (Well, maybe silver...I'm sure someone's better than me...)
• Modest! (See above.)
• A total slacker.
• Annoyed with the state of my home.
• Superman, and I can do ANYTHING!

"Semolina Pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower

Elementary penguin singing Hari Krishna

Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe."

B-9

Got a message from my dermatologist's office. The pathology report came back from my procedure last Wednesday and it was a benign growth (related to scar tissue?) & they confirmed that they got all of it out. YAY! (I mean, with an incision this long, I'd kind of have to kill my doctor if she didn't get it all out!)

In other news, I went to the orthodontist for my first adjustment and I'm excited about the new wires and what they're supposed to do (opposed to the previous wires). I also got rubber bands. (Fun, right?) I will add a pic after I take a shower in a bit 'cause they're hella cool!

RAWWWWWWWRR!

Quick, quick!

Let's post so we can push that picture down the page a little bit, shall we?

This weekend was pretty boring. My ass spent a lot of time hugging the couch. Yesterday I just felt completely off. It was like the whole world was off its axis by just a small amount. Nothing felt right at all. Today I was feeling a bit better. I took DK to day care because she was so annoying and bad when I had her home yesterday. She likes to play, and I like to not be bothered by an annoying dog, so it works out well. :) Then I decided to go to Krispy Kreme. And that's where it all went downhill... I ate a donut when I got home and felt ill almost immediately. About 30 minutes later, I threw up. It was pretty violent retching, too. So violent in fact, some bile actually made it up. (That's a first since my Nissen Fundoplication in January.)

Look at me, I'm just here to gross you out; talking about barfing and showing a picture of a big nasty gash.

Well yawn, that's it for my update. Busy week with appointments starts tomorrow!

Here's your picture!

Decided to take a picture AND post it on my blog! I'm feeling really off today, so let's blame it on that.

Got the itch

...to skate! But I can't even walk without pain. :( So I'm laid up on my couch. OK, so I sit here a lot anyway, but tonight I have a valid excuse! My owie looks totally grody by the way. I was seriously contemplating taking a picture, but I thought that might be a little too strange.

Or is it?!

Ellen Page

Yes, I really do have a girl crush. She was on Chelsea Lately last night and she's a little charmer. She seemed kind of shy but then she started laughing uncontrollably. Like she was having a fit. That lasted pretty much the rest of the interview.

It's OK, Ellen. So do I. So do I...

Sk8 or die, dude!

I bought a pair of inline skates (I don't like calling them ROLLERBLADES, OK?) but found out I cannot use them yet. I had one doctor tell me I am not to exercise due to nutritional/hydration reasons (but I was going to disregard that!) but I had a nasty benign growth removed from my tum-tums yesterday and have a pretty big cut on my upper stomach. I think its about 10 stitches. So, I am not to skate unless I want to risk ripping some stitches (and no, I'd rather not, thank you).

Got yelled at by a crotchety old lady at Peet's today. She felt that I was blocking the walk way with where I was sitting. I said sorry and got up to move my chair but she kept bitching! I was so bothered. She probably thought she was talking to some kid -- that's how I felt. Like a little kid being scolded. Dude, I didn't even put the chair where it was! Grrrrrr!

Dakota totally attacked Tig today. Not cool, DK, not cool! And now Tig isn't showing me the love like she usually does. :(

A random tidbit, should you ever have to drink activated charcoal: it's pretty nasty, but believe it or not, you're not guaranteed to yack!

Oh blah dee oh blah dah

Life goes on...

and it's time for mine to go on too.

Managers

Not gonna lie, I have some issues with managers.

Managers are like, evil. They certainly CAN be, anyway. And I've had a few that I felt usually guarded the gates of hell. Maybe that's too strong... Well, I just figured I'd write about my last manager at ToiletPaper (that's what I'm going to refer to that crappy company as).

My manager at ToiletPaper was a chick that was almost 30. Her husband was one of the three co-founders. And she was smart and knew the business because she had been there since the beginning, but that doesn't make someone a natural people manager. Actually, I think I'm the only one she's probably ever had that didn't adore her and vice versa. I was coming off a really bad experience where I was burned badly at The Big G, so naturally I was very skeptical of her. She claimed to be different. She claimed she would never micromanage. (Which was bullshit.)

Maybe she didn't micromanage the others, but she definitely micromanaged me. Or she tried, anyway. The more I resisted, the more she tried.

Examples of silliness:

• Talking to me about my use of Facebook (and it wasn't that I was using fb too much -- my teammates were so immature, along with my manager, that they had 'concerns' over two posts I made because they thought I was talking about them). Yes, my manager wasted my time telling me that I needed to watch what I say on FACEBOOK. I argued with her that that had nothing to do with my JOB but she kept disagreeing. It was hella stupid!
• Not letting me move my desk one seat over. I wanted to move because the printers were right behind me and I felt sort of "exposed." People would have conversations right behind me. I didn't like it. She said I couldn't move and that I was in that seat "for a reason." What?!
• Told me I needed to sit at my desk more (and that included sitting in that desk next to me). She said I could sit there once a week for an hour if I really wanted to. WTF??
• When I was doing a lot of work on my laptop, rather than hooked up to my monitor, she emailed me and said, "Please use your workstation rather than working off of your laptop." Again, WTF?!

Sigh. It was so stupid -- her, my co-workers, and ToiletPaper as a whole. So glad I chose to leave rather than just take a medical leave. I'd never want to go back there!!

So G (ex-manager), even though you're not reading, you suck. A lot. 

Craving this

Two months

I can't believe it's been two months since I left my (crappy) job. God I hated that place. I'm surprised I lasted almost 5 months, but truth be told I never could have predicted it would go down the way it did. It's disappointing and sad. I thought I landed a really sweet job and it just...wasn't. I don't have a lot of hope for the next job, honestly. Perhaps it's depression; perhaps it's just my pessimistic nature, but I just don't have much confidence in it. I'm finding myself really regretting what happened at G, missing it, and basically hating myself for "ruining" everything. Well, "hate" is too strong of a word, but I'm definitely kicking myself. I don't know when I moved the blame over from shitty corporate politics and bad managers to myself, but I need to switch it back I think, because I don't need more self-loathing, that's for damn sure.


On a completely different note, it is absolutely perfect outside today. It's probably about 78 with a nice breeze. Gorgeous! Dakota and I went to the dog park and I picked up Google's free wifi, which was nice. I loves me some free wifi! Google had an initiative to bring free wifi to all of Mountain View, but it kind of failed. It's too bad, because it's a really good thing. I <3 the interwebs!

Wishes

I want to be Juno MacGuff. Well, minus the pregnancy, of course.

Drugs?

Shopping whore

I couldn't help it!

Jersey

This past weekend I went to New Jersey to attend a wedding (no, it wasn't at the shore -- it was in Rockaway). I went with Neil and his girlfriend Mackenzie on Friday afternoon. We flew United (suck) to Newark and got in around 9:30. Then we had to drive to Rockaway (about a 45 minute drive from the airport). I couldn't tell at the time, since it was dark, but New Jersey is very green. Not nuclear green, either, but green from trees and grass and all that good stuff! I had no idea. Another thing I learned about NJ is that they LOVE diners. They're everywhere! I ate at four of them in the four days that I was there. I'm pretty sure I gained about a hundred pounds, too, but that's another story.

Here's a picture I took in the hotel before I left for the wedding. It got a lot of likes and compliments on Facebook!

Someone said it was "sultry" which I read as "slutty" originally. Ha! I hated wearing that dress (as I'd hate wearing any dress) & felt hugegantic. I didn't take any other pictures. I didn't take any at the wedding even though I took my camera. None. Zero. Zilch. I figured I'd leave it up to the 100 other people that had cameras (and the two wedding photographers that they had).

Anyway, the trip was...interesting. On Saturday I got SUPER drunk and bad things happened, like crying in a friend's hotel room and making people feel awkward and stuff. I drank the next day at the wedding but not nearly as much and I've decided to take an alcohol vacation. Perhaps a very long one. Alcohol is the devil in disguise!

Remember when I said I was going to clean a little bit each day? And exercise? BIG FAIL so far. Oh and I also said I'd shower every day and I skipped yesterday and stayed in sweats all day. I'm gross. So yesterday I was probably stinky, and then today I was told my perfume was too strong. Pft, I smell good dammit!

So in summary, New Jersey was pretty OK. I had a good time at the wedding. It was good to see people. Congrats to Scott and Kira (whom I'm pretty sure don't even read my blog). Drinking is bad. Dresses are evil. New Jersey is green. Holy diners! The end.

Is it out yet?

Okay, I'm going to stop posting about the relationship shit, because frankly I'm tired of it taking up space on my blog. Surely I can find other things to write about, right? Ha -- we'll see.

Let's seeeeee:
Got a massage today. The woman remarked that my perfume was too strong. I said, "Uh, sorry?" That's not quite what I wanted to say if you get what I'm saying. ;)

Listening to some Fleetwood Mac right now. Dear lord I love them! I want to spew a bunch of lyrics at you all but I'll spare ya.

Sorry, but...

A couple of weeks ago, I sent an email to someone I had a falling out with in March (which was well documented on this blog!). I told her a few things I regret:

* I said I was sorry...
* I said I missed her

And at the time, I was under the influence of alcohol, which can do a variety of things to me. For one, it greatly lowers my inhibitions, so if I feel that 'email urge' I'm more likely to actually write something up and hit "send." Need to stop doing that! (But I'm also planning on not drinking much anymore for a variety of reasons, this being one tiny one.)

But I'm in my right mind now, and I want to say...

I'm not sorry.

I realize how much this person has changed, and how I don't really like this new person. Plus, anyone who would do that to me is not someone I need to apologize to or miss.

I also realized that I can no longer be the 3rd wheel. And that I don't have to pretend. There are just some people you're not going to click with in life. Or maybe you used to click, but people have changed so much that you don't anymore. And that's just going to have to be OK. I'm still going to get upset from time to time, but I'm going to remind myself of what I'm saying here.

Letting go

It's time.